*disclaimer: This entire blog is satirical; employing the use of exceptional amounts of reductio ad absurdum to prove overarching points about our existence as human creatures.

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WARNING: Words that have steered this weary ship through many-a-storm; sans port and paddle; are contained below. Each individuals name, if you click on it, will route you to a place where you can find some of that persons work either for sale or free – most link to Amazon.com or Amazon.ca.
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“It’s very important that I don’t try and think who the audience is. Again I try to write for everyone to read as if I was addressing an intelligent and humorous friend.

All you need to do is to talk to everybody as you would talk to your smartest or wickedest pal, and the great discovery you make is that that’s how people quite like to be talked to.

If they suspect for a moment that you’re thinking, ‘well wait a minute there are lots of trailer park readers of Vanity Fair, I’d better put in something for them,’ they will sniff you out in a second. As they should! They’ll know right away if you are being in the least bit condescending and so that’s how I write.

And then the rest of the time I write to please myself actually. I write… I don’t care if anyone else likes it or not. If I like it, who knows? Um. I’ll try it on the others. But I am not trying to win them over, please them, or sell anything.”

– Christopher Hitchens (From an interview titled ‘Conversations with History: Christopher Hitchens‘)

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“By all means seek out the supreme wisdom of the junkie philosopher.”
– Jones, Orange is the New Black

“Space… the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.”
– Star Trek

“You know the best thing about living right on the sea shore? You only have assholes on three sides of you. And if they come from that direction you can hear them splash”
–George Carlin

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”
— Norman Vincent Peale

“Most of the time, how you land is a good indicator of a pilot’s skill. So if you want to say something nice to a pilot as you’re getting off the plane, say ‘Nice landing.’ We do appreciate that.”
– Joe D’Eon

“It’s a very interesting thing losing ones religion.”
– Jimmy Carr

“Science is interesting; and if you don’t agree, you can fuck off.”
– Dawkins

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
– George Washington

Lovers and madmen have such seething brains,
Such shaping fantasies, that apprehend
More than cool reason ever comprehends.
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet
Are of imagination all compact.
– A Midsummer Night’s Dream: Act 5, Scene 1

“Sell not virtue to purchase wealth, nor Liberty to purchase power.”
– Benjamin Franklin

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.” (Often paraphrased as, “Those who give up freedom for security deserve neither.”)
– Benjamin Franklin

“Guys, can’t you see that even an imperfect society is better than the savagery of creating a new one?”
– Lisa Simpson

“Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence.”
– Christopher Hitchens

“The problem in society is not kids not knowing science. The problem is adults not knowing science. They outnumber kids 5 to 1, they wield power, they write legislation. When you have scientifically illiterate adults you have undermined the very fabric of what makes a nation wealthy and strong”.
– Neil DeGrasse Tyson

“May the bridges we burn light the dark road ahead.”

“Birds born in a cage think flying is an illness.”
– Alejandro Jodorowski

“Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn’t there, and finding it.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Democracy is four wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch.”
― Ambrose Bierce

“If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up.”
– Hunter S. Thompson

“I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”
– Gandhi

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche

“Societies in decline have no use for visionaries.”
– Anaïs Nin

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
– Albert Einstein

“If there is a creator being, it most certainly is a scientist; and earth is one of it’s many experiments in creating life. The concept of irreducible complexity lends credence to the notion of creationism but certainly doesn’t boast one religions creation myth over the other.”
– Nukes of Knowledge Contributor

“There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man. True nobility is being superior to your former self.”
– Ernest Hemingway

“One can quite understand that the cow was a sacred animal for the ancient ones: it worked in the fields, gave milk, and even its excreta had the enormous importance of re-placing natural fuel, which doesn’t exist here; this explains why their religious precepts prohibited the farmer from killing this precious animal and, for that, the only way out was to consider it sacred; to have such a determining force as religion impose respect for the most efficient element of production which the community counted on.”
– Che Guevara while in India

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“That’s here. That’s home. That’s us. On it, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever lived, lived out their lives. The aggregate of all our joys and sufferings, thousands of confident religions, ideologies and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilizations, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every hopeful child, every mother and father, every inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every superstar, every supreme leader, every saint and sinner in the history of our species, lived there on a mote of dust, suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and in triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of the dot on scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner of the dot. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds. Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity — in all this vastness — there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves. It is up to us. It’s been said that astronomy is a humbling, and I might add, a character-building experience. To my mind, there is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly and compassionately with one another and to preserve and cherish that pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known.”
– Carl Sagan
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“Nothing is real or a lie. It all depends on the color of the glass you’re looking through.”
– Ducky

“A smoke in times of rest is a great companion to the solitary soldier.”
– Che Guevara

“Being correct does not excuse a violation of form.”
– Ducky, NCIS

“A country which has no culture, has no history.”
– One of the curators of the Afghan National Film Archives. From a National Geographic special about the lost treasures of Afghanistan. The documentary highlights pieces of Afghan art, film and cultural history that were destroyed by the Taliban; and the people who risked their lives to hide artifacts from their cultural heritage and history from the Taliban’s destructive hand.

“I don’t think we should be governing ourselves. What we need is a king, and every now and then if the kings not doing a good job, we kill him.”
– George Carlin

“I won’t say that all senior citizens who can’t master technology should be publicly flogged but, if we make an example of one or two it might give the others incentive to try harder.”
– Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory

“It is our failure to become our perceived ideal that ultimately defines us and makes us unique. It’s not easy, but if you accept your misfortune and handle it right, your perceived failure can become a catalyst for profound reinvention.”
– Conan O’Brien

“Never interfere with an enemy while he’s in the process of destroying himself.”

Me, I romp and stomp
Thankful as I romp
Without freedom of speech
I might be in the swamp.
-Motorpsycho Nightmare, Bob Dylan

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt